Getting Around a Profiler
by TRUMAN'S SHELL
Summary: Dave Rossi's life changed the night his ex-wife Carolyn took her life. He just didn't know how much or that the person changing his life would try and challenge his skills as a profiler.  This story will contain a spanking.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This story popped into my head after watching the past few weeks of Criminal Minds, on my DVR yesterday. Let me know if you like the idea and I will write more stories.**

**I will post the beginning of my next Harry Potter story tonight or tomorrow. I will also post the next Jax and Joe story within the next week or so. I've really missed writing and hope that my schedule will allow me to get back on track. Thank you for reading and reviewing. **

Anyone who has ever heard the phrase hindsight is twenty-twenty has never lived with a profiler. With a profiler foresight is twenty-twenty. I love my surrogate father, David Rossi. Sure he was my mom's ex-husband, but he took me in when mom decided to take her life instead of dealing with her ALS. The only problem with Dave is that he seems to know everything I am going to do and I can't seem to get a thing past the man that I've been living with for the last six months.

Mom was always easy to fool. If I lied or kept something from her, she almost never found out. Dave on the other hand knows the minute I do something wrong and even knows if I am thinking about doing something wrong. It's very very very annoying. For example, about two weeks ago, I really didn't want to go to school, so I was thinking about skipping when my friend Megan texted suggesting the exact same thing. With my mind made up, I grabbed my books and started out the door but was stopped when Dave called out,

"Ally, don't even think about it."

"What?"

"Skipping school with Megan."

"I wasn't…"

"Don't finish that sentence unless you want to be grounded. Text Megan back and tell her to meet you in your first period or I'll call her parents."

"How did you know?"

"Profiler. Have a good day and stay out of trouble," Dave said giving me a quick hug before pushing me out of the house.

Profiler, I truly hate that word. A profiler can tell when I do my homework or just part of it. A profiler can tell if I ate all of my vegetables or not. I mean I'm fourteen; I should have the pleasure of sneaking around and getting away with things now and then, not getting caught before I even try something.

After the not skipping school incident, I decided I wanted to get around the profiler and beat him at his own game. That is how I came up with my brilliant upon brilliant plan. Ok, so it really wasn't such a brilliant plan as I am sitting in a police station waiting for said profiler to pick me up and the imminent death that will follow said pickup. As a profiler, he'll be able to hide the body without a trace, I'm sure.

I figured my best bet to get around Dave, was to wait until he was out of town on a case. The case came about a week later and he left me with Penelope Garcia. Now she is a fun person to be around, I mean her whole entire life is about having fun. Penelope, asked Dave to leave me with her during cases. She likes to help people get over the loss of loved ones and she really does help when the thoughts of my mom and her death become too much.

I'm supposed to go to the BAU right after school, but Megan, Dillon and I decided to go to the mall first. My idea to beat the profiler was going to work, if I could get my friends to go along with it and if I actually had the nerve to try it. Dave called the minute school was over,

"Whatever you're about to do is a bad idea," were the first words out of his mouth.

"Hi, Dave. Yeah, my day was good, how about yours?" I answered back smiling.

"It's good. I'm hoping to be home in a couple of days, next week at the latest. Make sure you take a cab to the BAU and before you ask, yes, you can go to the mall first, but only after you call Garcia," Dave said.

"How do you do that?" I asked.

"Profiler, bambina. Now behave yourself and I'll see you soon. Ti amo."

"I love you too."

**Rossi:**

Dave hung up the phone smiling. It was nice to have a little piece of Carolyn left. Sure, Ally wasn't his biological daughter; Carolyn decided to have her four years after they were divorced. He knew Carolyn contemplated asking him to be Ally's biological father, but he was married to his second wife at the time and wasn't available. Carolyn did ask Dave to be Ally's godfather and if she could have his last name. Much to his second ex-wife's chagrin, Dave accepted the role gladly and was always there for Ally.

His second ex-wife and third ex-wife never truly understood the friendly relationship that he and Carolyn had after their divorce or the fact that he was so close to Ally. The profiler in him knew it had to do with the death of his and Carolyn's son. James was only in the world for a few hours, but those few hours were more than enough to form a bond with the child and enhance the bond between his parents.

When Carolyn told him about her ALS and asked him to help her end her life, he was angry. He didn't think it was fair that he was going to lose Carolyn and he didn't think it was fair that she wanted to quit a battle, leaving Ally behind. The morning she stopped by for breakfast to tell him about it, he was surprised that Ally wasn't with her.

"She's at school, Dave. Trust me it was a fight when I told her I was coming here, but I reminded her that you wouldn't be too happy with her choice of language and she went to school."

"So, my bambina is getting a mouth on her."

"You have no idea," Carolyn said smiling brightly.

"Do we need to have another 'talk'?"

"No, she made me promise not to tell you and promised not to get in any trouble for a month if I didn't," Carolyn laughed.

Dave laughed with her and his phone rang.

"Go ahead and take it. I'll come by for supper when you get back."

Dave went on the case and the night he came back, Carolyn told him about the ALS, asked him to take her life, and begged him to take care of Ally. The night Carolyn took her own life, he promised to take care of Ally and make sure that she grew up in a way that would make her proud.

"She ok?" Hotch asked.

"Yeah, thought she would sneak off to the mall without asking for permission."

"Dave, you really should let the kid…"

"Oh, I gave her permission to go; I just wanted her to know that she wasn't going to get it past me."

Hotch shook his head. As a profiler and a father he knew how easy it was to know exactly what his child was up to before the child did anything wrong. He hoped his could balance that knowledge when Jack turned fourteen, if not Jack may never have a chance to learn from his mistakes.

What Dave didn't know was that one act of permission would cause so much trouble or the call he received two hours later would make him doubt his profiling skills.

Hotch told him there was no way Dave should have known that a fourteen year old girl would be that daring or that stupid. It didn't make Dave feel any better and he felt even worse when Hotch made him send Spencer Reid to pick the girl up, because Dave's emotions were too high and they needed him on the case.

**Ally:**

"Let's go Union Station," I said the minute I hung up the phone.

"How are we going to get there?" Megan asked.

"Take one of Dave's cars. He let me drive the Jeep last week," I said.

"On your property," Dillon reminded me.

"So, I know how to drive and we only have to drive to a metro park and ride to get there. It's less than ten miles. I know I can do it," I said and thought, 'And Profiler David Rossi will never know.'

"Alright, if you're sure you can drive," Dillon said getting into the car.

Ok, so I really didn't think it through. First, I decided to take the mustang. Hello, it's a better car than the jeep. Second, I never drove on the expressway at seventy miles per hour, nor had I driven in traffic before. Finally, I didn't think the stupid cop that pulled up behind me would realize how young I was.

Megan was the first to notice the lights flashing behind us.

"Um, Als, there's a cop behind us," she said softly.

I had two choices. One, pull over and face the wrath of David Rossi or two, try and out run the police. Again, not thinking played a big role here. I decided to out run the police.

"PULL OVER," the voice boomed behind me as I got up to almost one twenty. Did I mention the car is a 1965 Shelby? Oh yeah, Dave is going to kill me.

"Ally, they have the license number," Dillon reminded me the moment I hit one twenty.

"Great," I said and started slowing down, but did I pull over? No, I'm too stupid to do that until I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket about a half an hour later. It couldn't be. Yep, it was.

"Hi, Dave."

"PULL THE DAMN CAR OVER NOW!"

"Ok," I said pulling the car over to the side of the rode.

"PUT YOUR HANDS UP AND FOLLOW EVERY DIRECTION THE OFFICER SAYS."

"Ok."

"Keep your mouth shut. Do you understand me?" Dave demanded.

"Yes, sir," I said and tears started fall silently on my cheeks. I was so dead. It was than the most horrifying thought came into my head. What if Dave kicked me out?

"Oh, I'm not letting you off that easy," Dave said.

"Huh?"

"I'm not kicking you out. You're not getting off that easy."

"How did…"

"Profiler. Now do what the officers tell you. Someone will pick you up soon," Dave said. "And Ally, I love you."

The only thing I could do was cry at those words. I just stole the man's car, I was about to get arrested, and he tells me he loves me.

Dr. Spencer Reid walked into the police station a few hours later. I've never seen Spencer that angry. I was actually a little afraid to go with him. The first words out of his mouth were,

"Call Rossi."

"Spence…"

"Don't talk to me, just call Dave," Spencer demanded.

I pushed number one on my speed dial and was greeted with a stern,

"You realized just how much trouble you're in right?"

"Um, I think so."

"You are going back to the BAU with Spencer and you will not leave his or Garcia's sight. Not even to go to the bathroom. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, sir."

"If I hear one word of complaint or one word from either of them that you were less than absolutely compliant, the punishment I have in mind right now will be doubled. Trust me, you do not want that to happen."

"Yes, sir."

"Put Spencer on the phone."

I handed the phone to Spencer and watched him nod and frown more than once before hanging up the phone.

"I'm sorry you were pulled off the case Spence," I tried.

"Sorry, doesn't even begin to the range of emotions you should be feeling right now. Do you know statistically you should be dead? Every move you made today could have led to your death. Stealing a car, speeding down a busy expressway, and driving well below the legal driving age all lead to death more times than not."

"Spencer, I wasn't…"

"Thinking. That's obvious. Get in the cab," Spencer said slamming the door the minute we both were inside.

"Come on Spence don't be mad at me too. Dave is mad enough for everyone."

"Oh, Dave isn't the only one mad. The whole team is furious. Do you know what it would have done to Dave if something would have happened to you? Hotch could only let one of us go, but Dave was needed to interview suspects. JJ, Emily, Morgan and I all volunteered to come and get you. Luckily, Hotch picked me because Morgan wanted to give you a sneak preview of part of Rossi's punishment."

I just started crying again. The team had become a big part of my life after mom had died. Each one taking me under their wing and making sure I was doing ok.

Spencer put his arm around me and gave me a hug,

"Don't worry, they'll forgive you."

"How about you?" I asked through my tears.

"Already did, the minute I saw you sitting there in handcuffs. I better never see that again Alison Carolyn Rossi or I promise to give you spanking before I hand you over to Dave."

"You won't, Spence."

We arrived at the BAU about an hour later and I was greeted by a teary eyed Penelope Garcia. She wrapped me into a tight hug and asked,

"What were you thinking?"

"Guess I wasn't."

"You can say that again," I heard from a computer screen over to the side.

"Hi, Dave."

"Just wanted to make sure you were ok."

"I'm ok."

"Reid, Garcia can you give us a minute?" Rossi asked from the screen.

"Sure, we'll go get some coffee," Spencer said and mouthed to me, "I'll get you a soda."

"Reid she can have water, not a soda," Rossi said.

"Ok, Dave," Spencer said giving me a smile.

"I mean it Spencer," Rossi said.

"They're gone," I said sitting down in front of the screen.

"First you are grounded for three months. No friends, no phone, and no computer unless you're doing homework. Second, you will not be out of the sight of an adult for the entire time you are grounded. Someone will take you to school and pick you up. After school you will come to the BAU until someone is able to take you home and stay with you. The deal I made with the police includes you're not getting your license until your eighteen."

"But…"

"You made the choice young lady, so no complaints. You will also have five hundred hours of community service."

"Ok," I said looking down at the ground.

"Finally, when I get home your butt and my hand are going to have a very long and painful conversation."

"I figured as much. Dave, I really am sorry."

"I know bambina, Ti amo."

"I love you too."


	2. Chapter 2

I decided to create some one shot stories with this series. It just couldn't get the chapters to flow together correctly. Thanks to everyone who reviewed and added story alerts. The one shot will be up in about an hour.


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